| He was trig poor |
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| 05:06pm 04/07/2003 |
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mood:  apathetic
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"I feel good but you feel better/sure do like the way we feel together" -Carebears record |
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| Bloody bloody bloody |
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| 05:27pm 10/06/2003 |
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I've decided to drop out of school and become a reiki master. Well at least the drop out of school part. I might become a reiki master. I guess there's no reason why not. Well except that I dont have $1000.
I don't need a degree for any of the jobs I want anyways. I might change my mind but as of now I'm not going back next semester. I'll probably get a job and get lots of money and then train as a spiritual healer and then get lots more money. I don't know. It's going to work out somehow, I'll leave it to the flaming oreo cookie.
I was only in school because that's what my teachers said I was "suposed to do" anyways. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Blah blah yackity smackity |
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| 06:19pm 20/05/2003 |
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mood:  busy music: Rod Stewart
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I finnaly got my elfwood stuff published. It only has like 4 pictures in it so far and everyone has seen them already but I think it's pretty cool anyway. I think you can post up to 40 pictures in the sci-fi part so I guess I'll get drawing. If I can find time... aaa!!
The worst part about online classes so far that I see is that things can be due on any of the 7 days of the week. I've been having a hard time figuring out what the hell I'm suposed to be doing in my philosophy class because the way the teacher set up the webpage for it is as confusing as possible without being my homepage or so I've heard. I supose I'm the only person who understand my navigation buttons. I refered to some picture I had drawn and showed a picture to my friend and he was like, "I've never seen that before!" and I was like, "It's been on my webpage for like 2 years." and then I had to explain the navigation.
Today while driving and listening to Hayden I thought of a great idea for that novel I'm trying to write. I hate how stupid that sounds but it's true so I guess I'll say that. I don't even care if anyone ever reads it at this point I just want to do it. |
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| Oh my. |
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| 05:28pm 14/05/2003 |
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mood:  creative music: Komeda - Sen Somnar
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I was just reading a really old book and was surprised to find the words, "making love" in it.
Then I just noticed that the word "fucks" is in the MS Word dictionary.
It's interesting to think how much times have changed. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Strange Humans |
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| 06:07pm 13/05/2003 |
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mood:  calm
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Alec called me a little bit ago while I was resting and left a message saying he wanted to go bowling with me and he was going to be in town for a while. Why can't the past leave me alone? I dont really want to see him honestly. He's one of the only people who ever understood me at all but his mental state lead him to be sort of cruel and mean spirited. I think he was one of those people with a really high inteligence who ends up hating those who aren't very smart. I don't think he thinks he's better than them, I think it really comes down to frustration. I don't really want to be surrounded in bitterness. I don't want to be reminded of high school and I certainly don't want to be reminded of my relationship with that nutty boy.
I think two geniuses can be good friends as long as one of them isn't super bitter while the other one is not.
I have problems being with human beings. The ones I want to go away seem to want to stay around me.
My english composition teacher likes my web page especially the picture of me grumping and the waffles. My other english teacher wears suits that don't match at all. Today he wore a green jacket with a brown shirt, yellow tie and "bronze" pants. I like the way he dresses. I can tell he thinks I'm a kid from the tone his voice takes when he talks to me. Either a kid or someone on the verge of a mental breakdown which thankfully for the first time in my life I'm not. |
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| High Voltage |
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| 12:20am 13/05/2003 |
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mood:  peaceful
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I'm "in class" right now technically I guess. My online class that is.
I bought a dirty old AC/DC bar-looking mirror. It was only $3. I also bought a green stained glass window pane. I don't know why. Then I bought huge Carebear that I can't even put my arms around. "Grumpheart" or whatever his name is. Before I got there I was going to get the rainbow tummy one instead but when I saw his face he looked like he needed a hug and then I couldn't put him back. He's sooo cute!
I somehow ended up with exactly enough money to pay for my books and go to therapy on thursday. I'm sooo tired! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Chocolate Blunt Papers |
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| 09:44pm 10/05/2003 |
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mood: creative music: Kristen Hersh - Silver Sun
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I'm listening to the new Kristen Hersh CD (the one with the "simultanious release" with the Throwing Muses CD...) My first reaction was, boy her voice has gotten so rough and gritty, I miss the way it was before. My second reaction was, I really like this. The guy at the record store sold me his copy because it was too mellow for him. Sometimes I really like music that's kind of quiet and/or slow but not too sappy. I think this fits there. It's so minimalist in a way, I don't even think she has drums.
I got carded for the first time today. I went to the gas station and asked the lady if they had any papers for home rolled cigarettes. She was like, "yeah..." and then she looked at me kinda weird for a second and I was like oh here's my ID I know I look 16. And she started laughing and said, yeah I was about to say. She said people always think she's 16 too but she's 25. So she checked my ID real good and close and then gave me my rolling papers. Funny how they never carded me for renting porn across the street. Oh well.
I never thought Throwing Muses would get back together but I kept thinking about how cool it would be. Too bad I don't think the Cocteau Twins ever will. Good thing the Pixies won't. |
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| Oh no! I AM a man according to this... |
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| 05:45pm 03/05/2003 |
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My Empathy Quotient...
Your score is: 13
"0-32 You have a lower than average ability for understanding how people feel and responding appropriatly. Most people with Asperger syndrome or high functioning autism score about 20. On average most woman score about 47 and most men about 42."
I hardly think the difference between 42 and 47 makes it right to say that men and women are genetically different in this area...
My Systemising Quotient
"Your score is: 56
51-80: You have a very high ability for analysing and exploring a system. On average women score about 24 and men score about 30. Three times as many people with Asperger Syndrome score in this range, compared to typical men, and almost no women score this high."
"For other individuals, systemising is stronger than empathising. This is called the male brain, or a brain of type S."
I think its stupid that he labels them like that (by gender)but its still an interesting test.
Take the test here. |
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| lore: ok my eyes are getting numb of watching too many girlboys |
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| 03:56am 30/04/2003 |
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mood:  amused music: Cranes - Don't Close Your Eyes
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I descided to steal more things because I got bored.
10 questions: Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles.
Ok i pick the Cranes.
1. Are you male or female?: "Tangled Up"
2. Describe yourself: "Bewildered"
3. How do some people feel about you?: "Beautiful Friend"
4. How do you feel about yourself?: "Hopes Are High"
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: "The Christmas Angel"
6. Where would you rather be?: "Heaven or Bliss"
7. Describe what you want to be: "On Top of the World"
8. Describe how you live: "Joy Lies Within"
9. Describe how you love: "Everywhere"
10. Share a few words of wisdom: "Don't Close Your Eyes" (Cutest song ever btw.)
aydira: atheist what does bewildered mean
Atheist:It's when you're confused because heaps of shit is happening.
aydira: did didididi
Stuffness: I agree, Aydira :)
* lore is now known as Lore
Lore: Im talking like Atheist now :).
Lore: I dont flood. And i use big initial letters.
Lore: Im behaving like a real Aussie gentleman. |
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| 03:43am 30/04/2003 |
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My son Lore showed me this and I screamed. He said that pretty boys like that walk down the streets in Finnland waiting for me to grab them. I actually don't think I would want to date someone who looked like that though.. just save it for eyecandy.
Elfwood is back up now. I just have to wait for the mods to publish my gallery... I didn't really have anything new to put in there yet but yeah. It's going to be cool. |
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| Oh no! |
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| 03:30am 30/04/2003 |
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mood:  surprised music: Cocteau Twins
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
I'm a dirty lust-bag. :( |
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| Jeff: i have a chess cat he is a fine piece |
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| 07:26pm 26/04/2003 |
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mood: amused music: Valis 3 - Stage 1
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Well I finnaly got accepted into Elfwood and finished all my drawings for it and now the site is down. Argh...
I went to work today and I found out that Ashley is back working there. I was surprised because I thought she was never coming back to this city. She was really grumpy. I only got 3 hours of sleep and she asked me how I could be so happy and I said, I'm happy because you're here even though you're grumpy. That job is fun.
This guy there thought I was 16... just like everyone else does. He said he couldn't date me because people would think something was horribly wrong. I think its funny to see the reaction of me just saying, "I'm 20." I don't think of myself as looking young for some reason. I usualy just see people my age and assume that they're like 5 years older than me. |
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| Bad Name |
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| 09:39pm 20/04/2003 |
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mood:  determined
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Why would I open an E-mail from someone named, "Conception Mattoon?"
Well the administrator of our dream team really did accidentally deleate our old forum including hundreds of our dreams. I guess from now on I'll back them up on my hard drive, or even better I could just use paper. The funny thing is I can pretty much remember a huge amount of them anyways so I just took some notes on what I remembered.
My Elfwood aplication is like #1378 out of 2000 or something. I had to change my name in my yahoo email to what I'm going to change my name to (ugh new credit cards.. blah blah blah oh no,) because they want your "real name" on Elfwood. I wonder what my dad will say once he finds out I changed me name.. probably get mad or something and not be at all understanding about the fact that my name as it is now is totally horrible.
There is some terrible show on tv right now that my mom is watching. She loves horrible crappy tv shows and bad horror books. And then she wonders why I get insulted when she doesn't want to read something i worte. It's like, how could it be any worse than the stuff you already read?
Or maybe it's not bad enough? |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Yikes Stripes |
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| 09:30pm 19/04/2003 |
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mood: artistic music: Tv: "This woman has no internal organs."
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I put in an aplication at Elfwood gallery for the sci-fi modern fantasy part. I don't know if I really draw anything like that but I supose I can and it's free. Hopefully people will leave comments on stuff like, "that guys arm is a little too short," intead of things like, "that looks like anime," and "that's a GUY!?!?!?!??!??!?!"
I think androgenous people are attracted to other androgenous people. My friend thought that the reason I don't date is that I'm an idealist and I haven't found someone who was pretty enough for me which I thought was sort of annoying. There are tons of pretty boys walking around this city and if that was the reason I'm not dating then I'd have to be blind. Besides I'm attracted to all kinds of people not just pretty boys. I just like to draw them. :)
My reasons for not dating have nothing to do with anyone else. That's just for the record since people ask me over and over and over again.
Anyways about the Elfwood thing. It's going to be a few days before I know if they liked the answers I gave to their 30 question thingy (aaa!). Good thing I didn't have to give them any art samples cause I don't have any yet...
In other news the administrator of the dream group I'm in somehow deleated the entire bullatin (jello?) board with all our dreams on it and stuff. I kind of think its funny in a way, he seems kind of loopy sometimes. I think he can get it back somehow he said... well I hope so anyway. I'm just not going to think about that... :) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Blown |
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| 02:00am 09/04/2003 |
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mood:  aggravated
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I think I blew my soundcard when it was in my old computer and then I forgot about it and I continue to use it and wonder what's wrong with it all the time. The headphone jack works fine but for some reason the other one is all crappidy. Oh well.
I'm wearing boxer shorts. |
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| 03:09am 05/04/2003 |
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mood: annoyed
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I'm annoyed by other people's illogical assumptions about me. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Isketch.com |
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| 04:58am 06/01/2003 |
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mood: awake music: Aphex Twin - Windowlicker
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aydira: I had a dream that you and me were playing isketch stokesy
Stokesy: sorry, i couldnt make it to our date last night :(
aydira: hehe that's ok
aydira: it'll happen
aydira: I'm going to try to have an OBE tonight
aydira: hehe maybe we did meet but we played pictionary instead
Stokesy`: heh
Stokesy`: i couldnt manage an obe :(
Stokesy`: maybe tonight
aydira: me either :(
aydira: yeah
aydira: maybe I'll try to get one with SP when I go back to bed
Stokesy`: cool, then come and haunt me
aydira: hehe of course
aydira: hopefully not scare you
Stokesy`: slap me across the head, when i feel it i know it was you
aydira: haha ok
Last night me and some buddies (including the one above) played online pictionary. I was up so late but it was so fun I didn't notice the time at all. At one point my drawing was so bad I started laughing so hard I was crying. The boys couldn't really guess most of mine because I usualy associated something abstract with my word and I am horrible at drawing with a mouse for some reason but that made it more fun. And so did getting words like "aunt" to try to draw out. I think the most common thing said last night was "WTF!?!". Indeed. At one point i was suposed to draw a "spade". The boys made fun of me and said, we didn't pick the xxx catagory! I ended up trying to draw a cat with his balls crossed out... no one got it I dont think.
In other news everyone's favorite vegan emailed me. It was odd. She wants to call me and stuff. I sent her my drawing that I finnaly got to finish coloring after a year and a half. UGH. It's really nice though I like it.
It's the drawing from the top of my old diary except now with photoshop 7 it can read the file (which got corrupt in an unfortunate incident) and so I was about to finish the neck down. |
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| He said I could stay in his house. |
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| 01:45am 28/12/2002 |
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mood: content
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This is an Aussie boy. I may go to school there if I can get in.
explora hey what is your favourite food?
aydira oh hahah hmm
aydira thats hard
aydira probably mashed potatoes :)
explora hehe
explora i'm shocked..
aydira hahaha
aydira what's yours?
explora umm.. i like uh.. wait that's difficult
***
then a guy from amsterdam gave me a picture of himself with a stuffed pooh bear:
Hello Kim..
Lets help me with karate cooking!
U got your blackbelt..ready..hehe
Oh btw i am not the bear with the red t-shirt!
Greetings,
Jeff
So I showed him my cat:
aydira yeah he's sweet
Jeff yes he is
Jeff i like him
Jeff whats his name
Jeff charcoal the great?
aydira aww :)
aydira no thats peach anne
Jeff oh he is so nice |
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| 01:48am 26/12/2002 |
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I dare you to try and look at this and not cry. |
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hugedessert's journal
